I am off to CBT tomorrow after a month where my therapist was swanning around the world on various trips. It was good to have a break in some respects, but it meant that I left my homework until the last possible moment (i.e. now) - just like being back in school. Sorry sir - the dog ate it.
What arised from our last session was that a major issue for me is that I am struggling against a (largely self imposed, although being married to a somewhat unreconstructed man doesn't exactly help) view of what a wife and mother should be. I have forced myself to behave like I am living in the 1950s while feeling unutterably frustrated by the position that puts me in. So, my homework has been to think about my old-fashioned codes of behaviour, and reinterpret them for the 21st century.
I've spent our entire relationship being submissive, and I'm slightly worried about what will happen when he realises that it wasn't really me. Who knows, maybe he'll like it. Maybe he always knew. Maybe I am being overoptimistic. Watch this space.
In other news: my hair has stopped falling out. Seems I've reached some kind of equilibrium, follicularly speaking.
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